Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
