We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize