Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
