I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
