Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
