my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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