I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize