Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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