why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
