Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize