I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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