apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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