Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
