This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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