I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
