I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
