she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
