Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
