Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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