I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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