He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
