biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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