Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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