I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You are the jesus of drinking
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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