..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
