I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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