Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
