I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
