No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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