We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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