I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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