Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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