paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
