I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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