they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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