Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
