Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
