They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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