we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
