I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize