haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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