Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
