One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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