No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize