Do you still have your period?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have already put on my inside pants.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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