honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
