ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
