I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize