She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
