I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
they need to just BURY HIM!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
