he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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