He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
birth control should be required to get into college
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can you bring me the toilet please
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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