I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
