woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
