i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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