When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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