i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
