i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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