I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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