Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
