You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
