I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
