he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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