u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
