why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
