I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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