Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just forgot I was standing up.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
