awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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