He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
