I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
