You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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