i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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