I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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