did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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