I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
