The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
