Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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