i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
