We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
