Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
