i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I need moral support for this bender
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
